Words of wisdom!! Hilarious!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this message,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
———— ——— ———
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
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There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
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Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands are like Dal RICE, eaten when there’s no choice.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
———— ——— ———
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
———— ——— ———
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
———— ——— ———
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Lace Wig Application

PART I

PART II

Paris Hilton trades blonde hair for brunette wig in Dubai

Party-girl Paris Hilton swapped her signature fair hair for a dark wig while filming her new series of “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF,” reports London’s Daily Mail.

The 28-year-old reality TV star sported the new look before and posted a picture of herself in a similar wig last month on her Twitter site with the words, “Me in disguise today. Blonds have fun! But brunettes are hot too!”

Hilton was also a brunette in her starring role in the rock horror movie musical, “Repo! The Genetic Opera.”

After describing last year’s “BFF” winner Brittany Flickinger as a “hungry tiger,” Hilton recently weeded out 14 final contestants in season two of her U.S. reality show in a variety of challenges from pole dancing to petting a tiger in Las Vegas.

Now, the hotel heiress is searching for a new best friend in Dubai after U.S. and British versions of her hit show.

The 17-day shoot will take place later this month. Hilton’s hard-partying style will be reduced to accommodate the Middle East audience, according to Ish Entertainment.

“We’re very aware we are not making the same show we would make in Los Angeles,” said Ish’s co-founder Michael Hirschorn.

“I was excited about the sheer, ‘Oh my God, what’s going to happen’ factor.’”

Read more: “Paris Hilton trades blonde hair for brunette wig in Dubai ‘Paris Hilton’s my new BFF’” – http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/06/03/2009-06-03_paris_hilton_trades_blonde_hair_for_brunette_wig_in_dubai_.html#ixzz0HRvGMCSJ&A

Swear by shear style

Thursday, June 04, 2009, 1:00 [IST]

Celebrity hair stylist Najeeb Ur Rehman interacted with hair stylists in the City to launch summer trends in cuts and colours

You’ve decided for a make-over, and you head to the hottest salon in town, and you’re finally sitting on the chair where your aesthetic fate is to be decided. The stylist is ready with his pair of shears, and asks you, “so what do you want to do?,” chances are that you’re staring blankly with a dumfounded expression. All those images with luscious locks that you had in mind after reading 101 hair styles for summer seem to have vanished into thin air. This is the moment of truth for every hair stylist. And to the rescue of the hair stylists in distress, while facing such moments, came Najeeb Ur Rehman, the celebrity hair stylist who is the magic touch behind the manes of Bollywood beauties like Neha Dupia and the official hair stylist for Miss India contestants. At a hair-stylist orientation session, organised by Schwarzkopf Professional, the Summer Essential Look was unveiled that showcased the spring-summer ‘111 edition’, signifying 111 years of Schwarzkopf Professional. And for that ‘moment of truth’, he had five new styles for the season, straight off the haute couture runways in Paris and Milan. “It’s important for a hair stylist to be able to read the customer and accordingly decide what’s the best for them, as hair is the most expensive accessory we have, and getting a haircut is instant make over,” said Najeeb addressing the participants. When asked what were the parameters that decided what colours and cuts, he says, “we take all aspects from skin tone, eye colour, face shape, profession and lifestyle into consideration, we have to decode the customer’s personality while giving a hair cut, we are the hair doctors”. Speaking about the haircare for monsoons, Najeeb says, “it’s important to know your hair and scalp type just like knowing your skin type, “during the monsoons, due to the humidity there is over secretion from sebaceous glands on the scalp, so one needs to wash and condition hair at least two to three times a week.” Najeeb also stressed on the importance of hair trimming, “It’s like cutting your nails, especially in long hair, the ends become very dry, and are very prone to split ends.” The models showcasing the summer cuts and colour were then paraded with glamourous names like ‘Julia’ and ‘Eva Maria’, with Najeeb explaining how to acquire the look. Sure enough, the hair stylists walked out of the session now confident of handling that dreaded ‘moment of truth’.

Hairstyle Trends for Spring & Summer 2009

http://www.beautytipsonline.com/hair_trends_summer.htm

So what’s gonna be hot for hair when the weather turns warmer? The new hairstyle trends for spring and summer, 2009, characterize a variety of styles that will flatter hair of any length, whether it’s short, long or in-between.

There’s something for everyone! Looking for change? Get a haircut that allows you to wear a practical style for daytime and a more flirty look for the evening hours.

Long Hairstyles

Wavy, textured hair brings a tousled, feminine look. If your hair is long and thick, this is easy to achieve because textured and shaped hair allows you more control with your hair style. Simply wash your hair, add some mousse and blow dry your hair on low. Use a curling iron and finger-comb the layers. For piecey chunks, apply styling wax on the ends to separate.

For a simple, sleek and smooth look, straight hair can look great on almost anyone, reflecting light and enhancing shine. If you have natural waves, you don’t need to blow-dry. Simply use a flat iron to straighten it out section by section after you let it air dry. Set the style with hair spray and stay away from rain or heavy humidity.

Short Hair

Want less fuss with a short hairstyle? Ask your stylist for heavy layers to add dimension, fullness, and bounce. Boyish, yet feminine, this is the easiest cut to wash and style. If you prefer more than a basic bob, look for an asymmetrical cut to update your look and keep you on the edge.

Ringlets that are too tight look old-fashioned and Victorian. Keep your short curls loose and natural. Finger comb and tousle your tresses when slightly wet for a true romantic look. Face-framing layers will help make a basic hairstyle more versatile and add much needed movement.

Whatever your hair length, this year’s parts are leaning towards the center. What looks best on you may depend on the shape of your head, if you have bangs, and if they will also part to reveal a portion of your forehead. If you prefer a side part, forgo the center and wear it where you wish. Not every trend looks good on everyone.

Bangs

The current trend for bangs is soft and side-swept, exposing only part of your forehead. To look anything but ordinary, opt for angled bangs to accentuate your unique style. Whilst bangs require more frequent maintenance, they’re great for covering up a long forehead, flaws, or lines.

Ponytails are back in a big way. With their practicality, getting ready for a casual or formal event is a snap. Soft waves add sensuality to a basic ponytail. For any texture of hair, set high or low, what’s classic is now trendy. Try combing your hair back with your fingers for a slightly imperfect, messed-up hairdo.

Color & Highlights Trends

Sexy, feminine highlights are always in style. Chunky highlights give way to subtle. Spring brings popular multi-tone highlights and lowlights for several shades of color that adds dimension and reflects the light. A great haircut combined with delicate highlights ensure that you will look classy at special events and in pictures. Trendy and stylish, this summer promises to bring some of the most exciting hairstyles we’ve seen in years. What better time is there to update your tresses?

My one day employment…:)

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,

a good find for many retirees,

I lasted less than a day……

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,

unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,

Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had  been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,

‘Hell no, they ain’t  twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7.

Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied,

‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am,

I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

“Top 2009 Hairstyles”….The hottest trends in hairstyles for 2009

For 2009 it would seem that long hair is making a comeback along with big hair, 80’s hair and extreme looks.

Styles such as center parts and puffy big ponytails are making a huge fashion statement in the beauty world while if you’re more conservative you can always try the sleek back ponytail trend.

Trying to switch up your look or try something new?

Look below for more trends in styles.

Top 2009 Hairstyles

• Cornrows
• Face Framing Layers
• Blunt Bangs
• Mohawk Styles
• Center Parts
• 80’s Big Hair
• Puffy Big Ponytails
• Sleek Ponytails
• Messy Chic Styles
• Updos
• Faux Bobs
• Braids and Twists
• Hippie Headbands
• Romantic Curls
• Flip Cuts

See The Stylish Looks for 2009

images from allure and zimbio

Remember the Fall 2008 hairstyles and winter 2009 hairstyles?????

The hottest looks and hair trends for fall 2008 and winter 2009.

There are so many hot styles to follow this season, whether you want to make a drastic change or a subtle or there’s something for every women and girl to follow this season.

1. Fall 2008 hairstyles and winter 2009 Hairstyles

2. Pinned and Parted

3. Over the Ear Chignon

4. 2008 Homecoming Hairstyles

5. Pixie Haircuts

6. Fall 2008 Hairstyles on the Runway

Remember the “2008 Spring and 2008 Summer Hairstyles”?????

2008 spring hairstyles and 2008 summer hairstyles that rocked the runway this season. Looking for the hottest in 2008 spring hairstyles and 2008 summer hairstyles that will be popular this year? This spring 2008 and summer 2008 get the healthiest hottest hairstyles that will complement any face shape. There are many different spring hairstyles and summer hairstyles the following are just a few to keep you looking your best this spring 2008 and summer 2008.

2008 Summer Hairstyles and 2008 Spring Hairstyles

1. The Angled Bob - a great 2008 spring and summer hairstyle.

2. Blunt Bangs- one of the hottest 2008 spring and 2008 summer hairstyles.

3. Long Layered Hairstyles- A great way to get short hair this 2008 summer and 2008 spring without losing much length.

4. 2008 Spring Hairstyles- A list of all the popular 2008 spring hairstyles as well as 2008 summer hairstyles.

5. 2008 Summer Hairstyles- Pictures and styles of 2008 summer hairstyles.

6. Side Swept Bangs- The best side swept bangs for your face shape.

7. Summer Hairstyles- Basic Summer Haircare and hair guide

“2009 Mtv Movie Awards Hairstyles and Makeup”

“2009 Mtv Movie Awards Hairstyles and Makeup”

This year at 2009 Mtv Movie Awards the most popular makeup looks included bold lip colors and dramatic eye shades. Hues that were used often on the lips were flesh tone pinks, peachs and red lips were also a favorite.  Hot hairstyle looks included most styles that were worn down and Ms. Ashley Greene showed us a rather retro style and bold red lip.  Other looks that stood out on the red carpet Paris Hilton who loves the natural barley there makeup look and Keke Palmer who wore bronzed cheeks and peachy hues perfect for summer.

Images from bellasugar